Lagos, Nigeria – Riots have broken out across Nigeria as tensions between Amala and Fufu escalate.
It all started when Amala was suddenly removed from the menu of one popular Mama Put restaurant several days ago. Witnesses say they woke up one day and Amala was not just being served anymore at the popular restaurant. The Amala and Fufu tensions have been going on for…
Remember my last post My Sexy European Shoot about how my zits and pimples were trying to photo-bomb my What’s Up Africa photo-shoot?
Well after a series of tough negotiations I was finally able to convince the zit on my forehead to lay down. But the zit on my nose refused to negotiate … so in the middle of the night (Sunday), while everyone was asleep … I murderedpopped my zit by strangling it…
A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport this morning as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator.
At a press conference just before noon today, Attorney General Eric Holder said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. Although he did not identify the…
Sup people…I am going to Europe for the first time EVER this weekend. Well, its not really the first time…I have been to Switzerland, Germany and Holland…But this is the first time they are actually letting me out of the airport (praise Jesus).
ALS Ice Bucket Challenge…millions raised. Ebola Salt Bucket Challenge…zero dollars raised…2 dead. America knows marketing. #TheEND
Written and Illustrated By Okechukwu Ofili of ofilispeaks.com Follow him on Twitter Stalk him on Instagram
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Feed his children at…no wait he has no kids…but he has a BB that has sadly reached its limit
Hey guys. Sorry I have been missing in action. This week has been quite frantic.
On Monday I showed up to work feeling flawless … like a superhero … to be precise feeling like Wolverine, but after just 30 minutes and about 10 emails later I felt like crying … everything that could go wrong went wrong that day. And it just keep accumulating and getting worse as the week went on. But guess what!…
Sometimes I don’t know which side is dumber…liberal extremism or conservative extremism.
One says you should not teach evolution in school the other says you should not pray in school. Turn on the TV or the radio and the extremists are driving the agenda…because we humans just love the black and white, open and close, extreme or not extreme…fuck 50 shades of Gray.
True story…so yesterday night (August 14th, 2014), I am at Starbucks minding my business typing ish on my laptop when this lady gets up from her original seat on the other side of the store and sits right next to me. I am jamming Superman music (don’t judge me)…but I keep watching this lady with my peripheral vision…she starts to murmur something and then starts to cry.
Every once in a while I come across a quote that makes me go #@$#@$%#@ but then I look at it again and it actually makes sense.
But the irony with these quotes is that if I ever get invited to speak at say a Church gathering or school graduation ceremony I will not be able to use them….because well errrr they are frankly on the edge.
From drinking beer, to kicking annoying people in the head ……
“One thing I knew about the novelist’s task: when in doubt, write; when empty, write; when afraid, write. Nothing is more impenetrable than the blank page. The blank page is the void, the absence of sense and feeling, the white light of literary death.”—Philip Sington, The Valley of Unknowing (via quoted-books)
So unless you have been living under a rock, then you would have probably heard about the awesome 41-shot rally (which I did not verify but BBC said it … so I believed it) between Nigeria’s Segun Toriola and Singapore’s Ning Gao at the recently concluded 2014 commonwealth games.
But if indeed you were living in Aso Rockunder a rock and you have not seen the video and all its awesomeness, then…
I stumbled across this article yesterday, not only was it funny but the suggestions listed there actually work. I am quite sure if you try them out at work…all 10 of them, you would find yourself in a corner office!
10 Tricks to Appear Smart During Meetings
Here are my ten favorite tricks for quickly appearing smart during meetings.
Like everyone, appearing smart during meetings is my top…
Washington DC, USA President Barack Obama at a press conference on Wednesday said that it’s too early to send the unapproved experimental drug “Zmapp” to Africa where the outbreak of Ebola has killed close to a 1000 people. Despite the fact that Ebola is spreading at its fastest rate ever, the President wants the drug to be fully tested on Americans before using it on dying…
LAGOS, NIGERIA – While America is busy injecting defenseless rats with the Ebola virus to systematically extract antibodies that can maybe “cure” Ebola. A group of extraordinary Africans have come together to find a more humane and effective cure for the disease.
Image Courtesy usatoday.com
Sources confirm that this potential cure does not involve harming rats, monkeys or…
I see a whole army of my state people here in defiance of tyranny!
You have come to vote as free men and women. And free people you are!
All we need is one chance, just one chance, to go to the elections booths as young men and women and tell PDP and APC politicians that they may take our rights, they may take our light but they will never take our free bags of RICE!
Someone once asked me, “Why do you draw Afro’s on all your characters and why are your Superheroes Black?”
To be honest I never really thought anything about it …. it was not like I woke up one day and said I will make a deliberate effort to draw black superhero characters rocking Afros. I just did it….part of it was to be funny … actually most of it was to be funny.
The 24/7 research team of ofilispeaks.com fresh of their Na You Do Am allegation here have just uncovered a top-secret letter from the Director General of the SSS titled “How To Catch A Boko Haram Mastermind In 4 Easy Steps.”
The letter is so strategically written and effective that we at ofilispeaks.com decided to share it with our readers so they too can catch Boko…
We have been told from an early age that there are always two sides to a story. The good side and the bad side. From the TV screen to the Radio waves we are inundated with this belief.
In Hollywood for instance, there is always a good guy and bad guy. The bad guy is normally ugly, bald or from Eastern Europe likely Russia (aka Rocky IV) or Germany (aka Inglorious Bastards). The good guy on the…